Posted by
Pinecone on Saturday, December 06, 2008 12:12:36 AM
I never really thought about it but some loves you lose are not people, instead it may be a way of life, marriage, a home. I have been a mother for 21 years and now my youngest is a senior, my lifestyle is going through a huge change. I am going to have time to find out who I am again and what I like to do, that will be such a change from trying to satisfy two boys for years. They have been my babies for so long it is so strange to see two grown men at least a foot taller than me standing there treating me like a fragile piece of crystal. But somehow the three of us have remained a family despite my poor judgement in marriage material. I have been married 3 times and can honestly say that I have truly only loved one man in my life and I am not sure he even knows that I still exist. I started having seizures and so there went my drivers license. You never realize how dependent you are on that brand new little sports car you bought yourself after raising those two young men and paying your dues as a nurse for 14 years That I did have to shed a tear over. Thank God for friends, family, and grown kids otherwise I suppose I would never go anywhere. I use to take my alone time so for granted. Don't you make that mistake! Someday you won't be able to even go to Sonic for a soda by yourself and that is one of my greatest loves I have lost. I lost track of how many nurses I have worked with but I can say that all I worked with were angels and loved their calling. It is a calling that makes you feel needed, worthwhile, loved by your patients, respected by your family and your colleagues, I have had to go on leave until I can get a diagnosis on the seizures and get them under control. I have spent many nights feeling the pain of that lost love. Helping others made me a better person, it made me see on a daily basis that no matter what I may have lost there are others that have lost so much more than I have. I always struggled to give them the respect, privacy, love they needed. You see we all have lost loves and you never know what someone else may have lost so you try to give them all you have to give and maybe alleviate a little of the pain of their lost loves. Someday I hope to find my lost loves and I am sure it will be quite an adventure and heaven only knows which loves I will be able to recover. Don't give up easily, hold onto the loves you are able to keep and always give more love to others especially the cranky ones, you never know what loves they have lost in their lives....those lost loves are precious memories that can escape from your heart even if you open your heart to remember them and talkto a friend about them. They are yours and yours alone to savor over and over again.